charlotte-just-charlotte:

gallusrostromegalus:

wigglyflippingout:

honestly i would never have the balls to pick up a Death Note to destroy my enemies

….

i would, however, snatch up a Yeast Infection Note or a UTI Note up real quick-like

I asked my mother what superpowers she’d want if she could have one and she said:  “I want to karmicly inconvenience people.”  

Someone howling hate speech? Oh No! Sudden and inexplicable chronic laryngitis!

Driving like an asshole?  Uh-oh, Car trouble!

Keep saying nasty shit to people online?  No router in your proximity will ever work.

After a moment she added “or convenience them, that’s important too.  Like people who return lost dogs or volunteer time.  They need extra cash and to never have hayfever again, something like that.”

Your mom is a saint and I love her