C.A. Jacobs

slightmayhem:

mugwomps:

beachdeath:

the most #UselessLesbian thing i have ever done was when i was trying to figure out if this girl liked me or not, just constantly arguing with myself about it, and after a couple, uh, months, of this, i was like, “god i wish i could just like… go to court and lay out all this evidence and have a couple lawyers argue over the TRUE MEANING of her text messages, and then a judge tells me if she likes me or not.” and then the proverbial lightbulb went off over my proverbial head, and i dug into my mock trial folder from high school and found the trial guidelines and i wrote out an entire trial transcript featuring a plaintiff (me), my attorney (my wildest hopes and dreams), a defense attorney (my worst fears and insecurities), and a judge (my desperate attempt at rationality). the final product was several thousand words long. it clarified nothing. at any point in this process did it occur to me to ask her how she felt about me? absolutely not. did i ever stop and think, “hey, maybe i should tell her that i like her?” absolutely not. that’s for people who take risks and i don’t take risks i take myself to court in my own head.

I’m sorry you put you thru this but I can’t help laughing

“i am sorry you put you through this” is for real the best phrase i have heard in 2018

semitics:

semitics:

Not to be dramatic or anything but as a lesbian what saved my life was realizing that attraction is supposed to feel good

If your attraction to men makes you viscerally uncomfortable, distressed, and feels like a fulfillment of a default obligation rather than something that produces good and exciting feelings, perhaps it isn’t attraction

pyrrhiccomedy:

“why do lesbians hate men” son almost all women hate men, lesbians just have nothing to lose by saying so.

as-seenon-tv:

as-seenon-tv:

TODAY I WAS RUNNING AND THIS MINIVAN DROVE PAST ME AND SOME LIKE 14 YEAR OLD BOY YELLED OUT THE WINDOW SOMETHING LIKE “RUN FAT ASS” AND HIS MOTHER TURNED THE CAR AROUND AND MADE HIM RUN LIKE 5 BLOCKS WITH ME WHILE SHE DROVE NEXT TO US I ALMOST SLIPPED FROM LAUGHING SO HARD

this stupid fucking post got screenshotted and put on Facebook with my name blurred out and middle aged moms are praising it. I’ve successfully created a mom meme. I am no better than a minion. good bye.

tsundere-yaoi-goddess:

U KNOW ONE THING THAT SUCKS IS WHEN U HAVE A OBSESSION OVER A SHOW AND NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE REALLY INTO IT SO YOU’RE JUST THERE WITH ALOT OF FEELS NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO WITH THEM