C.A. Jacobs

crystallizedtwilight:

nanyoky:

I want to write an alternative version of Romeo and Juliet where instead of being a little ponce and trying to work things out for himself, Romeo asks his smarter friends what to do about the whole thing and Benvolio and Mercutio come up with the world’s greatest plan:

Marriage of convenience between Juliet and Mercutio.

Think about it.

Juliet’s parents want her to marry into the Prince’s family. Mercutio is a good compromise between no marriage and Paris.

Mercutio probably won’t get his inheritance if he keeps being HELLA FUCKING GAY ALL OVER THE PLACE so a beard is only a benefit to him.

They would probably get along great rolling their eyes at how adorably stupid Romeo is.

Romeo and Benvolio could get a “bachelor pad” right next to Juliet and Mercutio’s house. Every night, Romeo and Mercutio high five as they hop the fence to go bang their one true love.

The second half of the play is just all of them trying to keep up the charade and being “THIS CLOSE” to getting caught all the time. But everything ends nicely because true love conquers all.

Everybody wins. Nobody dies.

kalany:

swanbot:

egobangbangintotheroom:

I saw a post that was like “mutuals =/= friends” like whoa okay I always thought of mutuals as low key friends but that’s fine let’s make people more insecure of their relationships than they already are

Bruhs, if we are mutuals you are 100% at least low-key level friend to me.

I follow you = acquaintance

Mutuals = low-key friends

I’ve replied to your posts at least twice = high key friends

I actually use the message system to talk to you = I really really like you and probably talk about you to people irl all the time

sapphic-giraffic:

lordacies:

writing-prompt-s:

Every year, the richest person in America is declared the “Winner of Capitalism.” They get a badge. Then all of their wealth is donated to charity and they have to start over at $0.

This procedure results in the worlds richest people donating excessive amounts of money ahead of the event in an attempt to avoid being hit by a real life blue shell. Thus adding to the overall annual donation.

Y’all think this is a joke but that’s literally how taxes are *supposed* to work