rebelmeg:

zinglebert-bembledack:

pathfuckery:

jumpingjacktrash:

copperbadge:

akielosrises:

crazymuff1n:

writing-prompt-s:

At long last, The Chosen One has been discovered. Working as a cashier. With no interest in doing anything even slightly more difficult.

yeah because there is nothing more difficult than retail

tbh anyone who works/has worked retail would see the chance to go around saving the world in ways that could potentially kill them as a welcome vacation

“Does the position of Chosen One offer health benefits of any kind?” 

“Well, our ragtag gang of world-saving underdogs has a doctor on-team.”

“Do I have to pay her out of pocket, is what I’m asking.”

“Gosh no! She’s an idealist, you don’t pay her at all!”

“Oh! That’s nice. But then I guess there’s no paycheck.”

“I mean, the secret cabal that dispenses our orders does make sure we have enough money to feed ourselves and keep a roof over our secret lair and such.”

“Hourly?”

“Hourly what?”

“Like have you guys ever had to punch a time clock?”

“We once had to dismantle a sinister time-freezing device in the shape of a clock….otherwise no.”

“Sold. Off we go.” 

“do i have to be nice to people who are yelling at me?”

“we’re the good guys, you can’t kill random civilians just because they’re mean!”

“kill?? no, i mean, can i tell them off.”

“well, sure, of course.”

*rips name tag off shirt and tosses it over shoulder* “i’m your huckleberry.”

This resonates on a spiritual level

“Wait. Wait. Hold on. Time out. Lemme make sure I’m 100% clear on this. We can’t kill random civilians. Sure. Right. But….we can kill people who are aggressive to us and threaten us with dire consequences or bodily harm?”

“Uh….yeah?”

“HOLY SHIT.”

I need this. I need like… and entire series of this. I need 8 books and show on Netflix and a movie.