exphautaz:

grison-in-space:

sqbr:

lesbianporg:

sif and valkyrie meet on a lesbian dating app on earth and for the whole date theyre both in disguise as midguardians not realizing that both of them are from asgard 

What I love about this is they’d both be terrible at it but for completely opposite reasons.

Sif would try very hard but she is an earnest Old Worlde Asgardian to her bones and would be every alien/timetraveller-fails-to-fit-in cliche at once. “More of your Earth food, please, fellow human” and so forth.

Valkyrie has spent a few thousand years in a cutthroat multicultural urban environment and could probably adapt and pass as human if she actually tried, but instead she’d do the most token effort imaginable. It’s not like any of these Midguardians would recognise alien tech, and changing clothes is effort, etc.

And both of them would be very pleased at how much easier this all was than they were expecting. “I’m doing great!” they would both think, comparing notes on their favourite kind of spaceship (midguardians have spaceships, right?) and having an arm wrestling context where they use 1/10th of their strength, eg enough to break the arm of any actual human.

And then eventually Sif would be overcome with guilt and tearfully explain her Terrible Lie and Valkyrie would go YOU MEAN I PUT ALL THIS EFFORT IN FOR NOTHING and then Sif would die of fangirling because Valkyrie.

And then they’d make out, the end.

um um um SOMEONE WRITE THIS STORY OH MY GOD amazing

@thefingerfuckingfemalefury

About C.A. Jacobs

Just another crazy person, masquerading as a writer.
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