people who don’t wear glasses who are writing characters who wear glasses;










they get fogged up when we drink hot beverages.
they get smudged for no reason.
we will push them up using anything in our area (i.e shoulder, whatever is in my hand, scrunching my nose up so they get pushed up, etc.).
they get knocked off our faces all. the. fucking. time.
when we change clothes we either take them off or they fall off when we pull our shirts off.
we have to clean them after being in the rain.
we own multiple pairs of them, not just one lone pair for our whole lives.
most people don’t wear them in the pool, but some have extra old pairs for the pool (like me).
some people take them off during sex, that’s fine! but some people keep them on.
they don’t get squished into your face when you kiss (most of the time. at least from what i’ve experienced and i’ve got some mf big glasses).
if we look down and look back up while you talk/to peek up at something, we will just peek blindly over the top of them.
we clean them on whatever item of clothing is closest.
some of us have prescription sunglasses and some of us wear contacts when we need to wear sunglasses.
please keep some of these in mind when you write characters with glasses cause y’all who have 20/20 vision keep telling me all characters sleep in their glasses and own the same singular pair from age 6-25 and they never clean them.

( there’s this but you missed a few iconic glasses traits
– “where’d I put my glasses” (is wearing them)
– new glasses getting scratched on basically nothing. where’d the nick come from? we just don’t know.
– forgetting you’re wearing synthetic material and just smudge the junk on your glasses around
– after doing so, proceeding to hunt down any friend who is wearing a more cottony material
– getting eyelashes on your glasses
– stabbing yourself in the face with the arm of your glasses
– “woah are you blind?”
– “how many fingers am I holding up??”
– walking into a warm room from the cold and suddenly being unable to see because your glasses fogged up
– going outside and everything is Super Crisp 1080p
– having three pairs of glasses and putting all of them at once
– “aw dude you have transition lenses? lucky.”
– the non-glasses scrutinising squint
– taking off your glasses and suddenly you’re a different entity entirely
– if you’re too good for taking off your glasses when dressing/undressing, realising you didn’t pull the collar of a shirt out enough and subjecting to your fate )

-For female characters wearing eye makeup is pretty much useless

– the reason why is because no matter what we do, the mascara will smear on our glasses

– thinking “Oh, there’s a little smudge. I’ll just clean it quickly”, then taking the glasses off and wondering how the hell you could see with what looks like three layers of dirt on them

– giving your loved one a little kiss but in the wrong angle so their nose touches your glasses

– the look™ when you’re in your bed lying on the side with your glasses on (aka the glasses are skewed)

– the sigh when you reach for your glasses and instead of grabbing them, you just knocked them onto the floor

– blindly feeling around for your glasses. yes, we all have velma moments.

– alt: if you have prescription sunglasses. wearing those to find your glasses when you misplaced them

– the “how blind are you compared to me” friends with glasses trade off

– Falcon Vision headache when you get a new prescription

– trying on all the fun frames when you need a new pair, but picking a pair that are similar to your old pair in the end

– alt: you do get a fun new pair and the wait for someone to ask “did you get a new pair of glasses?” (it’s like a bold new haircut but for your eyes)

-You can’t lay on your side, like you just can’t unless you fix the pillow into a very special way

-going from cold to hot OR hot to cold fogs them up. Think stepping off an air conditioned bus into the FL heat. Immediately can’t see anything.

The extra terror on a rollercoaster that your glasses are going to fly off and go god knows where.

-the never getting rid of old glasses and the because you’re a creature of habit you always get similar frames so you have to try on four pairs to find the current prescription

-The ‘around the house’ and ‘going out’ pairs

-forget wearing headphones unless you like earbuds or can afford some really cushiony nice ones, because otherwise it takes about 30min to an hour before the pressure starts killing your head.

About C.A. Jacobs

Just another crazy person, masquerading as a writer.
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