thededfa:

Part 1 and 2

Part 3

Part 4

The entire market place was buzzing with the news. A Fwehahn trading ship was arriving today. As one of the few carnivorous sapient species, no-one was happy to see them here and I had heard that Air Control had made them dock a full mile away from the trading center. Fwehahn were so sneaky, somehow able to use their many limbs to prowl silently through alleys and shadows, and had an affinity for waiting up in rafters and tree limbs before dropping silently onto unsuspecting prey. They were terrifying. And big. An average Fwehahn was a full six umrat tall when they stood on their hindest limbs. I had heard that the only species longer than them was the Shish.

It was expected that the Fwehahn traders would take a full hour to trek the mile’s distance and so business continued in it’s quiet way. Suddenly I heard a wave of distressed shrieks, chitters, and howls coming from the dockway. I slid back behind a stall to safely see what was coming without being spotted myself. I extended an eyestalk around the corner and shuddered when I saw the cause of the screams.

A human. One of the most mysterious and feared species in the universe. Information on them was so conflicting there were actually xenologists who debated if ‘human’ was actually several species that co evolved. The human was running through the street, her teeth bared and her eyes scanning the stalls avidly. The part that made me shudder though, was she was carrying a Fwehahn on her back. It was clinging to her torso with its six hinder limbs while it’s firstest limbs pointed out directions that the human followed instantly. That meant….

That meant the human had run the full mile from the docks while carrying one of the largest sapient species and she didn’t even look winded. I changed my skin to match the dirt and settled in to watch.

The human approached a vendor and made agreeable noises over the salad selection. The Fwehahn on her back flattened it’s ears and slid off of it’s perch to prowl off on it’s own. The human bought a large bowl of salad. Well, large for me. For her it fit into her hand and she chewed it easily and quickly in a few bites. An herbivore then. Probably an easy mark. I quietly began moving through the crowd towards her, a broken blaster in my tentacle. She wouldn’t know it was broken though. I just needed a few units.

The towering being made an interested noise and strode off towards another stall, leaving me to scurry after her as fast as I could. I was slightly out of breath by the time I caught up with her and I arrived just in time to see her purchase a slab of grilled miira meat. A gift for her Fwehahn? My skin darkened in horror as she moved to bite it.

“Wait!” I frantically tried to draw her attention. I probably wouldn’t get to rob her now, but I couldn’t let her hurt her digestive system like that. “Wait! That’s meat!”

She bared her teeth and tilted her head. “Yeah? That’s why I got it.”

“But. But I saw you eat the salad! Herbivores can’t eat meat, it’ll make you sick!”

She made a series of sharp sounds, her teeth still bared. “Ah, yeah man, I’m an omnivore.”

I blinked at her, unsure if she was fluent in common. “An all eater?”

“Yeah, I can eat meats, vegetables, even lactose products.”

“That’s. Not possible!”

She made the sound again and squatted down to get closer to my level. She opened her mouth and pulled a facial muscle to the side to show me her large, flat grazing teeth in the back of her mouth. “’ee? ‘lat I’ ‘e ‘ack.” they released their muscle and pulled their lips back to show me the sharp teeth in the front. “Sharp in the front. I appreciate the concern though.”

I. Was still trying to process having the giant being’s teeth in my face like that as well as the discovery that it could eat everything when their eyes flicked from my face to my blaster and their face wrinkled.

“Were you going to rob me but got worried about me eating meat?”

My skin darkened and I tried to back away, but they just scooted forward after me. “I. Um.” I realized I couldn’t escape her and set the broken blaster on the ground. “I would not have harmed you. I just need some units.”

She picked up the blaster and turned it over a few times. “Yeah, I can see. You need money?”

I bobbed my head in agreement. “Just a little to get through the day. I can’t work with this.” I gestured to my missing grasping tentacle. “No one wants to hire a pilot that can’t reach all the controls.” I was lucky to survive the trauma of losing a limb, but it was even harder to survive when no one would hire you.

She made a rough noise in her throat and dug into her pockets. “Here, take this. You need it more than I do. And.” She tapped on her tablet rapidly and scribbled something onto a scrap of paper. “Here. Maybe think about checking this place out. They are a group of human scientists trying to figure out how to adapt mobility aids to other species. They need volunteers. I mean, they can’t pay you but they can give you a place to sleep and food and maybe eventually a mobility aid that you can use.”

“A mobility aid?”

“Yeah its-” She tapped on her tablet again and pulled up a picture of a human with what appeared to be a metal limb. “See, this is my mom. They lost their arm as a kid and so they got this metal mobility aid to help them out. It’s like a replacement limb. They helped found the research center.”

I felt my skin blue in hope. I reverently touched the tablet to zoom in on the ‘mobility aid’. I had never heard of such a thing. “They would help me get a new tentacle?”

“They would try. Just think about it.” She pressed the paper and a small fabric bag into my tentacle. “You take care.”

She stood and walked off and I stared after her for a long time before looking at the planetary coordinates and hailing frequency on the paper and opening the bag. I had to sit down on the road when I saw what the bag contained: enough units to buy me a meal and maybe a ticket to this human research center. I couldn’t process air for a second. I was going to rob her. She knew I was going to rob her. She could have turned me over to the market security forces and instead she had given me what appeared to be their entire shore leave budget and hope.

Some instinct made me look up in time to see the Fwehahn from earlier leap off of a market stall awning and onto the human, dragging them both to the ground in an impressive display of hunting prowess. The human shrieked and made that repeating sharp noise while playfully dragging the large predator under her bulk and ruffling it’s sensitive ears until it surrendered. They dusted themselves off and the Fwehahn clambered onto her back and began giving directions again. They moved on, towering over the rest of the market place while the average sized sapient species parted to let the feared carnivore and ‘all eater’ through.

Humans were a strange species. I clutched the precious piece of paper to my chest and headed for the travel dock. Strange and wonderful.

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catsbeaversandducks: Cats are scientifically proven to reduce stress. Photos by Curious Zelda Source: catsbeaversandducks

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Given the high probability for things in Jurassic Park to go 100% haywire, would you still take a job there in order to treat a stegosaurus?

drferox:

I would most definitely take a job at Jurassic Park, IF I got to make recommendations that would be actually listened to and wouldn’t be fired for swearing. The job of a veterinarian should not be to do what you are told by your employer, it should be to solve problems and advocate for the welfare of the animals in your care.

  • Misuse of the clicker in clicker training will result in the device being inserted somewhere uncomfortable.
  • We are not feeding Jurassic carnivores meat from mammals which they are likely ill-suited to digest and metabolize. We know aquarium fish, which are not adapted to eating mammals, develop cardiac and fat distribution problems if their protein is supplemented with beef so let’s aim for a slightly more ‘natural’ diet of bird and reptile proteins (crocodile, anyone?)
  • Like, seriously, let’s not train a prehistoric reptile, brought back to the modern world with no parents to teach it about food, to see mammals as a source of food. It shouldn’t have any innate instincts to do so, so lets leave well enough alone.
  • In fact, let’s not give them live prey at all. I think not training the dinosaurs to hunt is probably a good idea.
  • Lets get somebody who knows what they’re doing to design enclosures so we can see the animals, and give them enough space to not go stir crazy.
  • While we’re at it, the enclosures for larger animals can have more safety features – bolt holes for humans that the biggest critters can’t fit through,  honestly we even have these in livestock handling facilities, it’s not that hard!
  • We are not going to introduce DNA from modern species which are potentially parthenogenic
  • So, so much quarantine.
  • Some modern reptiles would need to be kept in order to seed the local environment with suitable microflora and microfauna for the dinosaurs to pick up. You might have cloned a dinosaur, but I’d bet dollars for donuts you didn’t clone it’s intestinal flora!
  • Quarantine again. Nothing is getting off the island, and ideally nothing from visitors is contacting anything in the exhibit.
  • Ian Malcom has to walk around being opinionated about everything, and suitably paranoid.
  • The roof of every building gets an evacuation point for a helicopter.
  • The stegosaurs get extra treats.
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When I was 16, I had a fake I.D. and decided to go to a gay bar by myself because some friends bailed on me. While there, an older gentleman bought me a drink. He wasn’t a creeper, and he definitely wasn’t unattractive. I accepted the drink and began talking to him. No big deal. As the hour progressed, I felt myself feeling strange. I mentioned that I felt like I had a headache, and this guy helped guide me out of the bar. As we were walking down the street, the thought of, ‘Oh god, he’s drugged me, I’m going to die’ came to my head. I tried to get away, but I was so drugged up that I could barely walk, let alone speak. It also didn’t help that I had really large ‘goth’ platform shoes because I was going through a phase. Anyway, this guy brought me to his suv and began undressing me. As a final act of defiance, I hit him over the head with my platform shoe. He then punched me, and I remember thinking, ‘Why don’t they ever give workshops to gay guys about being victims of rape too?’ While I was as careful as possible, I never saw the guy slip something in the drink. I even watched the bar tender make the drink. Anyway, I lied there completely paralyzed while this pervert was lubing up. I locked eyes with his for a moment, and that’s when it happened. A very large and angry drag queen opened the door of the vehicle and beat the shit out of my attempted rapist. She and her other drag friends helped dress and care for me while the police arrived. I was saved by a group of guardian drag queens. They were basically the modern day ‘angels from heaven.’

hunter-avenger-consulter-grimm:

jawnn-locked:

visiovisusvidere:

sonicghost:

milesjai:

videk:

welcome-to-the-sinners-ball:

imgayitsok:

God bless drag queens.

I will always reblog this

Whenever drag queens are present, you best believe they will save the fuckin day.

Oh fuck yes.

image

If this isn’t on your blog I’m judging you.

Every time a bell rings, a drag queen gets his wings.

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aspeachy: ashiftchange: bulph: themightyglamazon: tabbran: darthkres: thetrippytrip: I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that @tabbran please add lemon man story to this PRESENTING LEMON MAN That was a wild goddamn ride god this was worth the read Always … Continue reading

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

andy-the-anon:

crystalzelda:

ai-yo:

marzipanandminutiae:

brinigi:

overlypolitebisexual:

overlypolitebisexual:

“why can’t female heroes kick arse in heels” because it’s not practical and will literally snap your damn ankle you can scream weaponised femininity all you want but first off, you need to admit that they’re not an almighty symbol of empowerment, and secondly that if you do a job with a lot of physical activity in heels you’re risking your own safety. all these women fighting in heels on tv are going to end up seriously injuring themselves. 

weaponised femininity is a concept made up in an attempt to get us to embrace the industries created to hold us back/profit from our insecurities so that we can continue to fit into the male expectation of what a woman should be and not question why we are forced to spend thousands on our appearance every year

just a small anecdote. I had a friend who worked in theater; she was the stage manager and an actress came to her in tears one day because the director absolutely refused to let her do a choreographed fight scene in less than 3 inch heels because “they’re platforms so you’ll be okay.” My friend, who is a woman’s size 10, brought her own heels in the next day and DEMANDED the director put them on and try the choreography before the actress did it. He finally agreed to change it, without putting the heels on.

so like I know you might think of “all those women on tv fighting in heels” as fictional woman who WOULD hurt themselves in real life, but its fiction so its okay…except those women are portrayed by real actresses who are actually fighting in actual heels, being directed by dudes who have never worn a pair of heels in their lives, alongside men who aren’t expected to constantly wear things that make their stunts 2x more dangerous than they have to be. Just a thought.

Men take “let’s see feminine women being badass” to mean “let’s see women impractically focused on their appearance in combat situations.“

That’s why I loved Black Panther even more Nakia took off her heels and used them as weapons and was running and driving around barefoot in that one scene

A number of stuntwomen have spoken out about getting injured on sets because the character is wearing heels and skimpy clothing that provide no protection or padding. It literally harms rl women.

https://amp.theguardian.com/film/2016/jun/29/why-stuntwomen-are-in-more-danger-than-men

The only way I wanna see a women fight with heels is if she takes them off and fights with them a la Mulan/Nakia style.

sorry i can’t hear the noise of male entitlement over the sound of Evangeline Lilly and every other woman sighing in frustration

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Re-blog if you’re accepting anonymous asks from anyone about anything

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simonalkenmayer:

zooophagous:

ralfmaximus:

princeloki:

f1rstperson:

Glad to see my lifelong disinterest in golf is paying off

let me tell you about golf

i grew up in a little desert valley called Tucson, Arizona, where it only rains 2 inches a year on average. the majority of the city’s water is pumped from an underground aquifer, which took millions of years to fill. one of the biggest conservation efforts in our city was for water, naturally, and i spent a lot of time learning about low flow toilets and 5 minute showers. i learned that filling your sink basin and washing your dishes in that water is less costly than running the tap. i learned that it only takes 2 days without water on the desert for someone to die

the city was sinking as the aquifer drained. neighborhoods fell into flood zones that didnt exist 10 years ago

there’s a road called Golf Links in the city and it is lined with golf courses. miles of green grass where grass doesn’t grow, in a valley where it doesn’t rain. why? because the rich white retirees who moved there to stop the aching in their joints decided they should also get to play golf. meanwhile our public schools taught small children like me that taking long showers would kill the world

let the golf industry burn

There are 15,500+ golf courses in the United States alone. 

Each one consumes ~312,000 gallons of water per day.

That consumption is equivalent to 55+ million humans per day in the United States… roughly 1/6 the entire population.

We simply cannot sustain this frivolity, especially for something 99% of us will never use.

Destroy golf courses and plant wild grasses and butterfly bushes in their place.

It’s as if you have the highest literacy and education rates in the history of humanity and all knowledge in the palm of your hand…

It’s almost as if you’re not content being a generation of leisure-seeking, elitist, resource chewing idiots.

Good on you Millennials. 

What if we made golfing as shameful and difficult as it currently is for women to get care from Planned Parenthood? What if, in order to get to their precious golf courses, they were overrun by people with signs and pamplets from James 5:1-6 “Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you filed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you.”

They’re retired, old, white conservatives who love their Bible, yes? Wouldn’t it be fun to make things so annoying for them that they no longer golf and nature can reclaim that land? And when nature reclaims it, leave all the cart roads for runners and disabled people to then enjoy time outside.

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aprillikesthings: The USPS is the fastest, cheapest, and most accurate mail service on the planet last I heard, and is the biggest employer of veterans in the entire country.  On top of that, mail carriers: -have wages that top out at … Continue reading

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