Extended Silence

It’s been quite some time since I’ve posted anything. I’ve been super busy with grad school (again) and things have been extra stressful at work. I’ve got a lot of thoughts in my head and some of them need to be mentioned so maybe I can remember to write about them later.

1) It Gets Better posted a question about whether or not there’s enough asexual representation in media and entertainment and all the comments are filled with so many people talking about how asexuals aren’t discriminated against or are sociopaths or so many other negative comments. I don’t think I saw any comments by asexual people because, if they’re anything like me, they’re absolutely exhausted of fighting battles everyday with everyone who likes to be discriminatory just because they can. I spent 34 years of my life feeling absolutely broken because I don’t experience sexual attraction. And then I learned that there are other people like me and there’s a community and it made everything a lot easier. But that community isn’t allowed in “gay” spaces and it isn’t allowed in “het” spaces and it’s just … heartbreaking and confusing, I guess, is the best way to describe it. Religious people don’t mind asexuals because we mostly aren’t participating in hedonistic sexual activities but as soon as you say you experience romantic attraction to the same sex, you’re right back in the toilet. It’s especially bad if you aren’t willing to be a breeder and just pop out some kids because it’s your womanly job to do so.

2) I watched the first episode of Supergirl season 3 last week on Thursday (I think) and I don’t think that show is getting enough credit. I’ve seen so many people post that Alex and Maggie’s relationship is stereotypical and that it isn’t a good “lesbian” story and it just makes me so very, very frustrated. I think they’ve done a great job with showing what it’s like to be a full-grown adult with a job, a life, and a family having to work through what your actual feelings are and why. Especially when you have to fight your entire societal upbringing about your own internalized views on love and relationships. I want to see Alex and Maggie happy because “bury your gays” is too common of a trope and it’d be nice to see a non-hetero couple on mainstream television actually have a happy story because so far, most of them don’t.

The series as a whole also has engaging and interesting villains who also happen to be women. The women presented as villains are relatable and not the typical unstable, selfish, catty jerks that women are typically seen to portray when dealing with most mainstream entertainment. I also think the show is doing a good job at showing how the real world works. In the first episode of season 3, Lena Luthor is in a business meeting and she’s the only woman present, which is still how most of the world is; most of the dominant and powerful positions in the world are still held by men and women still make only 75% of what men make.

Many other reviews I’ve seen on various social media sites say that they don’t like Mon-el at all and that he’s basically just there as a screw-toy for Supergirl. I think that, as a character, he was someone who really pissed me off earlier in season 2, but I also saw that he did his best to learn and grow and understand the world a lot better. He learned how to cook, he watched shows Kara liked, he tried his best to do better. More importantly, he made Kara Danvers/Supergirl happy. How many people in the real life have seen relationships between people who made zero sense whatsoever, but the couple clearly and unequivocally loved each other? I know I’ve seen it. And anytime there is a divide where a person starts out as a not very good person because of their societal upbringing and works to learn and grow and become better, I automatically want to give them that chance. I am also sick and tired of DC Comics and their opinion that all their heroes must be miserable and the only way you can truly tell who a hero is centers around their sacrificing of everything important to them. It’s like the standard comic book storyline of a superhero having a love interest and that love interest must either be kidnapped or killed or support the entire “girlfriend in the fridge” trope. Is Mon-el a perfect character? Absolutely not. But he did a lot of things to become a better person and I respect that greatly. He also made Kara happy, which is more important in my mind.

3) I have enough poems marked in my black book that I’ve written in sporadically over the last five years that I think I should start working to compile them into something publishable. I have apparently written many, many poems over the years and as much as I’d rather have my first real works available to the world be my Explorers trilogy, I think it’s long past time I realize that I also have a thing for poetry. I could, and probably should, start going through all my old files and finding all the random scraps of poetry I’ve written when I magically have couplets in my head (which happens more often than I’d like to admit). So I guess I’ll start researching some small or university presses in order to find a home for my (really bad) poetry.

4) The political situation is getting absolutely out of hand. Several of my coworkers are those who are in love with their guns. They conceal carry everywhere they go, have their own arsenals, encourage everyone around them to have their own arsenals, and even answer the door with their gun. These same people will argue loudly and passionately that “the left” is the problem and that all the mass shootings in the U.S. in the last several years have all been perpetrated by registered Democrats. These coworkers also talk about how transpeople are all “weirdos” and they don’t want them anywhere around them. My coworkers are small-minded bigots and it makes me feel unsafe because I am also a “weirdo” to them, even though they don’t know it, because of my asexuality and being non-heteronorm. They don’t know that I’m not just like them. One of them also talks about how the Boy Scouts of America letting girls in is a horrible distraction because of all that sexual tension. It never once occurred to that coworker that boys and girls don’t always experience attraction towards each other. So when I made a comment about how, “if those boys and girls are inclined towards the opposite sexes, then yes, it’s a distraction” and that coworker looked at me like I had three heads, as though even the idea that people weren’t heteronorm was horribly offensive to him. My thoughts then turn towards how the social climate of the U.S. will continue to deteriorate because the leadership will not support a truly diverse environment. How long will it be before people like me are dragged from our homes and situations like World War II and V for Vendetta become our true reality?

These are just some of the thoughts in my head. Thanks for reading them and I hope that wherever you are in life and whatever you’re doing, your life is filled with happiness, laughter, friendship, love, joy, family, and fantastic shenanigans 🙂

About C.A. Jacobs

Just another crazy person, masquerading as a writer.
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