security called me at work today and told me they saw me outside chasing a frog around on the security cameras. i wasnt in trouble they just wanted to let me know they saw me. i didn’t catch him.

One time I went to the art museum with my friend and we got into an elevator where there was a very conspicuous camera. My friend looked right into the camera and started salaciously rubbing his shirt over his nipples and giving bedroom eyes to the camera. I smacked him and told him to stop, he was going to get us kicked out. He said “don’t worry, they have a whole museum of fancy art to watch, they’re not watching the elevator cams”.

When we got to the top floor, the elevator doors opened and there was a museum docent standing there like she was just…waiting for us. She said “My friends in security asked me to come up here and tell you that they received your message and they like what you’ve got.” and she just. Walked away. And my friend’s entire body turned red and I haven’t stopped laughing to this day.

About C.A. Jacobs

Just another crazy person, masquerading as a writer.
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