anachronic-cobra:

Imagine: Humans accidentally insulting aliens using common idioms that don’t make sense when you don’t know they’re figures of speech

Human: Penny for your thoughts?

Alien: You taught me about currency, have I forgotten the value of “penny”? Do you really think my thougts are worth so little? I thought you liked conversing with me!

Human: Wait, hold on

Human: We can kill two birds with one stone if we-

Alien: I’ve told you time and again my people are primarily pacifists, and herbivorous regardless. Why would you suggest such an activity?

Human: No, wait, it was just a-

Alien: I will have no part of it, and this nonsequitor is irrelevant to our conversation. Please strike birds on your own time.

Human: So is there a method to your madness here?

Alien: *offended* Are you questioning my sanity?

Human: I was just-

Alien: Because that’s difficult to take from a being with the IQ of a gleesnork.

Human: I don’t know what that is but fuck you too

Human 1: *talking to someone about alien, sees alien approaching* Ah, speak of the devil and he shall appear!

Alien: *hurt* I thought… you liked my company?

Human 2: …what?

Human 1: *realizing* OH WAIT NO I’M SORRY

Human: See you later, alligator!

Reptilian alien: How fucking dare you

About C.A. Jacobs

Just another crazy person, masquerading as a writer.
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