The thing about being LGBT+ is, at some point in your childhood, no matter how accepting your parents are, at some point, you have to question: “do they love me unconditionally?” And then you have to plan for the possibility hat the answer is no. And that fucks you up. Straight cis people never have to question that.

Before I came out to my parents, I literally planned what I’d do if my parents decided to kick me out, like what I’d pack, which friend I’d stay with. Luckily, I never had to do any of that, but the fact that being disowned seemed so likely to me, that I planned it to so much detail… it fucks you up, man, and it takes a while to stop feeling like you’ll be forced out any day. 

That’s why I hate it when people dismiss the importance of coming out, and just how difficult the process really is. Straight cis people really don’t know what it’s like. It’s only when you’ve found yourself preparing for the absolute worse when you can truly understand why so many people opt for silence.

This is also why there are so many people passionate about sexuality/sexual orientation/gender/general queer-ness. We don’t want other people to go through the same things we’ve gone through. And we want to make it easier for the people whose ‘escape plans’ actually become reality.

This is also why I’ve heard so many people say ‘I’ll never deny my sexuality/sexual orientation/gender/general queer-ness’. Because you don’t go through all that fear for something that isn’t important.

About C.A. Jacobs

Just another crazy person, masquerading as a writer.
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