Human bodies are strange and sometimes terrifying. A handbook has been constructed that is basically a staple on all ships called “Your Human Is Doing Something Strange But Don’t Panic, It’s Normal”. Here are some excerpts: 

Occasionally a human’s joints will make loud noises akin to popping or cracking. Stay calm, this does not mean that the human has broken a bone. Gases will gather at the joints in a human’s body and when pressure is applied will pop loudly. While unnerving, it has little to no effect on the well-being of a human. 

After they wake and before they sleep humans have a habit of scrubbing the bones protruding from their mouths with a flavored paste. Although it is strange, this habit is very important and the proper supplies should be provided on all ships. If not cared for properly these bones may rot and fall from the skull of the humans and it is an entirely unpleasant experience for everyone involved. 

Humans will sometimes experience an irritation or “tickling” sensation in their nose causing them to suddenly expel a large amount of oxygen from their body. This is such a violent process that they must close their eyes to prevent them from popping out of their sockets. It may appear to be painful, but is helpful and many humans actually claim that it is enjoyable and makes them feel much better.

It is recommended that anyone coming into contact with a human familiarize themselves with the many quirks that come with them to avoid future panic. 

About C.A. Jacobs

Just another crazy person, masquerading as a writer.
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