keesley-cheese:

I rlly love the humans are weird space orc things and I wanted to contribute.

I was thinking about how humans sit in really strange places and positions sometimes for no reason at all, sometimes because they are just too lazy to move to somewhere more comfortable. I mean, sometimes we just sit because we don’t want to stand any more. But what if aliens only sat on chairs and stuff, like it was a sign of injury or danger, or just very strange to sit somewhere that wasn’t meant to be sat?

Xynotle enters Human-Jamie’s quarters after searching the ship for him.

Human-Jamie is no where to be seen. Xynotle turns to leave the room when a voice calls,

‘Who’s that?’

Xynotle would have jumped of fright if his species were capable.

‘Human-Jamie?’ He asked, scared that the human had turned invisible or was perhaps one of those ‘ghosts’ that Human-Albert keeps talking about.

A hand raised from beside Human-Jamie’s bed, the side that was pressed against the wall.

‘Over here buddy.’

Xynotle grew worried. He moved closer to see Human-Jamie squished between the wall and the bed, scrolling on his phone with his thumb.

‘What has happened? Have you injured yourself? Are you unable to escape?’

‘Nah, bud, I’m fine. Just can’t be bothered moving.’

‘You.. you are.. comfortable?’

‘Meh, it’s not the most comfortable place in the world but it’s alright.’

Human-Jamie continued to scroll.

Xynotle decided it best to leave him be. He left, completely confused.

–

Znyph entered the kitchens to see two of their three human crew members sitting on stools next to the bench, the third human, Human-Alex, sitting on top of the bench. They were having a conversation about ‘puppers’.

‘Human-Alex! Are you trapped?’ Znyph asked worriedly.

‘Trapped?’ Human-Alex raised one ‘eyebrow’, something some humans did when confused.

‘On top of the bench, are you trapped?’

‘Ummm… no?’

‘You… choose to sit there? Even when there is a perfectly functional stool next to Human-Jessica?’

‘Well.. yeah. This way we are sitting in a circle so it’s easier to talk to each other.’

‘Oh.. ok then, carry on.’

Znyph walked away, pretending as if he understood.

–

‘Human-Roman, What has happened? Have you fallen?’ Crynpho was concerned for Human-Roman’s health.

‘No.’ Answered Human-Roman, laying on the ground in front of the couch.

‘Then why are you laying on the ground instead of on the couch?’ Cryphno was now extremely confused. ‘You were on the couch only ten earth minutes ago.’

‘I don’t know man, I just sorta.. ended up here’

Cryphno didn’t understand humans at all.