Book Review: Willow Wonderland

While out picking up lunch today, I stopped and also picked up some books. Sometimes, my taste in reading material is a complete mystery to me, as one of today’s books was Willow: Wonderland (graphic novel 120 pages).

I think I wanted something that required very little work, with a story and characters that I was familiar with, that I could also finish fairly quickly. This definitely fulfilled all of those requirements. I’m also fairly certain that there is likely to be a lot of little details and interesting clues to upcoming parts of the storyline scattered throughout the story, but that’s not why I picked this up. I didn’t want something heavy or depressing or anything filled with tons of extra text that a fan would point at all the tiny innuendos within the text.

I’m also thinking that I was in the mood for something with more philosophical thoughts and less overt sexual or romantic interests. As much as Willow’s love life has been crucial to several plot and storylines throughout the entire Buffy: the Vampire Slayer television show and continuing graphic novels, Willow’s intimate engagements have all been focused on love, not so much on sex. She was a character with an extraordinary amount of power who wanted to do the right thing, but wasn’t always sure what doing the right thing meant.

This story really demonstrated the difference between wanting/having power to help other people and wanting power for yourself. Even though Willow has been a combat witch for some time, she goes through extra lengths to save lives, even lives of creatures that mean her harm. She understands that the demons in the realms she travels to are just attempting to survive and that attacking her isn’t meant in an evil or ill-intentioned way.

I guess that’s always been the defining characteristic for me when I talk about good and evil. I’ve always defined evil and the “bad guys” or villains as those who are only out for their own gain and those who will harm anyone and anything just because they can, or people who hurt or kill because it’s fun for them.

As much as this was a random, “brain-candy” thing for me to read today, I think it suited my mood just fine. It’s also made me do a little bit more self-reflection than I think I was looking for today, but I’m glad for it. I guess I see a lot of my own character and personality traits in Willow; how hard doing the right thing is sometimes, and how much you have to sacrifice of yourself in order to make things better for the people around you who you care about.

Overall, I’d probably rate this as a low three on my rating scale. I’m glad I read it and I’m glad I own it and I look forward to rereading it at some point in the future when I’m not in such a philosophical place.

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Movie Review: Whisper of the Heart

Tonight, I watched Whisper of the Heart, which is another Studio Ghibli movie that I picked up a couple of weeks ago and hadn’t had the chance to watch until tonight.

I think this movie was a good example of what it means to follow your dreams and to work towards a future that both inspires you and brings you passion. This is also one of those times when the back of the box is actually at least partially helpful:

“A chance encounter with a mysterious cat sends Shizuku, a quiet schoolgirl, on a quest for her true talent. Challenged by Seiji, a boy determined to follow his dreams, and enchanted by The Baron, a magical cat figurine who helps her listen to the whispers of her heart, Shizuku embarks on curious adventures beyond the boundaries of her imagination.”

I wasn’t quite sure what to make of this movie at first, because it starts out in the typical fashion of teenage angst with crushes and school work and tests and things that I kind of feel too old for right now. It was right along the lines of “this girl gets a love letter from this guy but she likes a different guy who likes a different girl” and I rolled my eyes and hoped the story would move beyond that teenage stage of random, incoherent feelings.

And it did. Shizuku is a girl I can relate to in a lot of different ways. She spends a lot of her time in the library, reading, and checking out books. She is also very driven. She says that it’s her goal to read twenty books and she works tirelessly to achieve this goal. In fact, she kind of neglects some of her school work in order to achieve her personal, book-reading goal. She goes to school early so she can find books before the library opens. Books and fairy tales mean a lot more to her than most of the real things happening in her life.

Shizuku’s first couple meetings with Seiji go the exact opposite direction you think these sort of things should go. He’s a jerk and she’s angry at him for being a jerk. The two don’t appear to get along at all. But as they get to know each other, Seiji shares his dream of becoming a professional violin maker with her and they do a spontaneous jam session which I actually liked a lot in the movie. Seiji is so passionate about being a professional violin maker that he works tirelessly to achieve this goal. And that really goes a long ways to show the difference between people who walk the path they are told they must walk because it is the standard path and what it means to live your dreams.

Shizuku’s sister went to school the proper way and she only has part-time jobs and doesn’t really know what she’s going to do. She eventually gets a part-time job as a test writer and moves into her own apartment, making her own way in the world, but I got the feeling that it was a job she didn’t have any particular passion for and that makes me sad. But she did all the things she was told she should and it’s mostly starting to work out for her.

Meanwhile, Shizuku struggles to find something that she’s passionate about – a dream for her that’s worth fighting for. Everyone she knows tells her that she’s a talented writer and she doesn’t believe any of them, or if she does believe them, it never occurs to her that she should be a writer. Eventually, she decides to write a novel, filled with fantasy, adventure, and magic. Her parents grudgingly encourage her to follow her dreams. She puts off doing her actual homework and she stops paying attention in school so she can focus solely on writing this novel for two months straight. When she finishes her draft, she realizes that it still needs so much more work and she cries because she feels like she’ll never be good enough.

But that’s exactly the point – nothing worth doing is going to be effortless and flawless on the first try. Anything worth doing, any DREAM worth having, is worth working for. Shizuku realizes this as the movie progresses. She wants to write and be a writer, but there’s still a lot she has left to learn. So she makes the choice to stay in school and to work on her writing at the same time. I think this is a perfect balance between following your dreams and understanding that your dreams require work and knowledge and that you won’t get things completely correct on the first go.

Overall, I think this is a great movie. I liked the music and I really liked the idea of following your dreams and understanding that your dreams are going to require some work. But it also focused a lot on love and partnership, which still isn’t high on my list of things I enjoy being faced with in my free time. That brings the rating down from a low four to a high three on my rating scale. It was also a very beautifully done movie and I really like this style of animation.

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Book Review: Freedom’s Ransom by Anne McCaffrey

I actually finished Freedom’s Ransom (Science Fiction 287 pages) by Anne McCaffrey last week, but I didn’t have the chance to write up my review then.

This was the fourth book in the Freedom series and I’ve continued to enjoy the series, but I really thought that this was going to be the last book. I was noticeably disappointed when this wasn’t even close to the last book.

In some ways, I really enjoyed the look of dystopian Earth after the invasion and the removal of so much of the populace. Seeing the people of Earth working together for shared resources and trying to rebuild together was really motivational on one hand, but also kind of depressing on the other because I really do believe that it will take some sort of global catastrophe for us to all realize that we’re in this together and we ought to be treating each other better.

This book was also the first one in the Freedom series where I didn’t mark any pages or passages for future reference. I guess there wasn’t anything that really stuck out with me as being anything more than what the previous three books in the series covered.

The Farmers are barely mentioned, but I do really appreciate Zainal’s increasing desire to free all the humans and return their own world to them, as well as finding all those that were shipped off to slave colonies and working to reunite people with their loved ones.

I guess one of the things that did strike me as unfortunate was how many humans wanted to take a ship to Botany and go to a world where the people weren’t hurting for so much. This made me really sad because I see this in our modern society, how so many people treat so much of the world as disposable. Disposable electronics, disposable food, disposable people. It’s easier to throw people away than it is to work to build a solid relationship. It’s easier to throw away paper plates at dinner than it is to do the dishes. It’s easier to riot when protesting than it is to work solidly to become a police office or a lawyer to prevent atrocities in the future.

Overall, I’d say this book is probably a high two on my rating scale. I’m glad I own it an I’m likely to read it again in the future, but I actually don’t think I’m going to invest any more in the series. I think this will be the last book in the Freedom series that I read. For whatever reason, I just get the feeling that any future books (if there are any) are just going to dishearten me with politics and things that won’t be particularly helpful to me in the future.

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Book Review: War for the Oaks by Emma Bull

The final book for the Readings in the Genre: Fantasy Classics for my Master of Fine Arts in Writing Popular Fiction was War for the Oaks (Fantasy 319 pages) by Emma Bull.

When I started the novel, I was so excited by it! Here was a woman in the 80s in Minneapolis, a place I lived for some time, talking about all the familiar locations and dance places and clubs and she was in a band and yay! She was also mouthy and had a fantastic sense of right and wrong.

And then the romance. I’m glad she broke up with Stuart, as that was a very unhealthy relationship, and I absolutely understood both why she was in the relationship and why she reacted to him the way she did, even when he hit her. People in unhealthy relationships are often unwilling or incapable of removing themselves from that situation. I wasn’t too upset when Eddi hooked up with Willy because I could tell from the second that he was applying for a position with the band that he was high Faerie. I figured he was working some of that Faerie magic on her and that the draw was something similar to a cat with catnip. I actually admired her for breaking it off with Willy as quickly as she did, and having the ability to stand by her decision and not allow herself to be used.

But then the whole thing with Pouka started. I could see the romantic undertones throughout the whole story, but I kept secretly hoping that they would wind up saving the world and not being romantically inclined. I also realize that this is a scenario that I have yet to see in Urban Fantasy. The woman, in order to be seen as the strong heroine, must prove she can sleep with whomever she chooses, and then fall for the obvious love interest at a convenient “we need a happily ever after” moment. And it’s frustrating. I think I would have really enjoyed this book a lot more if the relationship with Pouka hadn’t happened the way it did. And I was far more forgiving of that relationship than I normally am because it was expected from all the Urban Fantasy I’ve read before. You know it’s coming so you just accept it with a sigh and move on.

Right from the beginning of Emma Bull’s War for the Oaks, I could tell that this was going to be a very artistically inclined story. Art is slipped in like the gentle stirrings of a breeze off the ocean, bringing tidings of an inbound hurricane. The clothes, style, culture, and even the descriptions in this novel are all artistically focused, and art plays a crucial role in the development of the storyline and of the characters. The band’s first official gig, before they even have a name, is to play the Minneapolis College of Art and Design. While music, and especially music involving more rock and/or pop, may not be immediately classified as art in some circles, the ability to create anything with a sole purpose to evoke strong emotions in a particular target audience deserves to be credited as art.

Art is so subtly slipped into this book starting with the very prologue and first paragraph on page 13: “On the many-globed lampposts, banners advertising a museum exhibit flap in the wind that the tallest buildings snatch out of the sky. The skyway system vaults the mall with its covered bridges of steel and glass, and they, too, are full of people, color, motion.” And then later from the same page: “A low, growling laugh, then: ‘She makes music, the kind that moves heart and body.’” Two completely different art forms are mentioned within this story on the very first page of the prologue, with museums usually dedicated to the visual arts with paintings and sculptures while Eddi, the main character, makes music. I think one of the key setting elements for this story is from this very page where the pouka describes Eddi as a woman who makes music, not a woman who plays music. This distinction becomes extremely important later in the story.

The pouka hints at the power of art and the power of humanity itself on page 70 when he is discussing with Eddi why she should consider siding with the Seelie Court instead of the Unseelie Court: “’There is a power in a mortal soul that all of Faerie cannot muster, power that comes from mortality itself.’” The pouka references several times throughout the story how the beings of Faerie are very steeped in their rules and their traditions and that they lack their own creative will. Eddi notices this particular quirk of Faerie, and uses it to her advantage in dealing with the Queen of Air and Darkness. One Example of this is found on page 262: ‘”Is there anything you do that you didn’t steal from a movie?” Eddi said softly.’

The key difference between the world of Faerie and the world of humanity is that humans are creative and inventive. During the night of the truce and the revelry, the Faerie music seems to be a constant replay of songs that are already in existence that the Faerie folk have learned to copy throughout the centuries. Eddi is different in the sense that she actually creates her own music. She writes the lyrics, she pulls the strengths of each of the band members together, and directs them to create the most emotional and human experience she can.

Throughout this entire story, art is seen as the one trait the Faerie folk admire and are jealous of from the mortal world. I’ve only read one other story that used art as the key to solving a very difficult dilemma, and that was another Urban Fantasy story with a female protagonist. This is the only story I think I’ve ever seen where the main battle between the “good” and “evil” faerie kingdoms is solved through a battle of the bands, though. Eddi, Carla, Danny, and Hedge succeed in winning over the crowd during the playing at First Avenue because Eddi is able to improvise and push her own emotions through her music, which is another aspect of the artistic quality of this story. Most of the time, the music of Eddi and the Fey is referred to as “her music”, as though she is the owner and propagator of that music. Eddi uses her humanity and her faerie power to create a shared bond with the audience. She knows what they feel and she forces them to feel her emotions through her music and her mild manipulation of illusion.

The power of humanity in this story revolves around the mortal inability to follow rules and the ability to think creatively, which to me is the key definition of art. Every poem, painting, sculpture, drawing, story, musical selection, or dance, plus so many others, created freely and without constraint, are examples of what it means to be human. We improvise; we create; and at the end of War for the Oaks, the key victory is won through humanity’s emotions, through humanity’s passion and creativity; through art.

This really was a fascinating look at the novel that I noticed in passing, but didn’t pay much attention to while I was reading. I think this is one of the first novels I’ve ever read where the characters purposefully changed clothes multiple times because they wanted to. In fact, I can’t think of any other stories off the top of my head where the clothes were given such detailed descriptions and helped to facilitate the setting in such a way as this did. That’s some really fantastic thoughts about the illusions and identities associated with clothes and becoming who we are. I would have never looked at this novel this way if you hadn’t brought it up, but I’m certainly glad you did!

The 80s definitely had it’s own, unique style. From what I remember, it was very colorful and very “anything goes” kind of fashion statements. Like flipping the collar on denim jackets up. And the “No shoes, no shirt, no service” thing that pretty much anyone will find amusing.

I really liked Michael’s ideas on this story being more of a portal quest because Eddi has to be invited in because Pouka even uses his jacket as a portal in order to rescue Willy. Pouka had some sort of magic wardrobe or ability to conjur clothes whenever he saw fit, and his wardrobe always seemed well-suited to the task. Eddi and Pouka knew they were going to get searched when they went to rescue Willy, so they used Pouka’s clothes to provide all of the perfectly-timed rescue necessities. So clothes and a battle of the bands saved the day. Fascinating story.

This story definitely appeals to those youths who feel as though they are outsiders (which is all of them). I think another comment along those lines is that this book was written during a time when everyone wanted to be a Rock Star. So this story is also something of a wish fulfillment novel because it increases the idea that once you’re in a band and playing all the high-traffic establishments, your life will be magical! You’ll have friends closer than most of your family members in the other members of the band. You’ll have this great, all-powerful love. People will respect you and admire your music and your artwork. People will know you and think highly of you. Which, really, is the exact opposite of every experience you actually have while you’re in high school. So this novel really is a perfect tie-in for young adults and urban fantasy.

I have some buddies who are from Minneapolis, and I even lived there for a few years. The area was a lot more openly accepting of just about everything. So when Eddi starts learning about the world of Faerie and how it interacts with the world she knows, she just sort of rolls with it. And getting the band together is important because it’s her passion and how she pays rent and buys food, so of course that’s a higher priority than playing games with mythological creatures.

Overall, I would say this book is a solid three on my rating scale. It was a fascinating use of music and art in order to save the world and I liked that so many of the locations were familiar. I wasn’t such a huge fan of the romance story, but I understand why it was there and it did actually move the story forward.

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Movie Review: The Edge of Tomorrow

I’ve heard several people say that the Edge of Tomorrow is actually a fairly decent movie, so I went out on a limb and purchased it a couple of weeks ago and finally watched it tonight.

I’m not sure if I remember having seen any previews for this movie or knowing anything more about it other than the main character, William Cage, relives the same day over and over and over again. The day he gets to relive is one where he gets thrown into combat repeatedly in order to save the entire planet. It seems I have a thing these days for movies and other entertainment venues that involve science fiction and technology because the combat suits the soldiers get to wear are pretty fantastic.

I think I’m going to have to discuss some spoilers in order to talk about some of the things I really thought were done well and some of the things that really stuck with me. So if you haven’t seen the movie and you want to be surprised by the events and not have the ending spoiled, you might want to stop reading. You have been duly warned.

This movie didn’t start out the way I thought it would. I think the previews made it look like Cage would be a hero and that he would be the one to save the day. But he starts out the movie as a coward and a deserter; someone who is doing everything possible to avoid combat and not be on the front lines. He’s a media guy – the guy that everyone sees on the televisions, but that doesn’t actually do heroic deeds. He tries to blackmail the general to not sending him into combat, and then he wakes up in handcuffs. He gets thrown into a combat situation and he doesn’t even know how to turn the safety off on his weapon system. I have to admit that I actually laughed at Cage’s terror during the drop and his incompetency with the weapon system.

But as the movie and the story progresses, he gets to like and respect J Squad and he starts trying to save or find Rita Vrataski. At first, he doesn’t know why he’s trying to find Vrataski, but then he learns that she also used to have the ability to reset the day. The team develops a plan to try to take out the Omega, which is the main brain of the alien life forms. Vrataski starts training Cage and she shoots him every time she wants to reset the day, which happens quite a lot and is amusing at least most of the time. I really enjoyed how the movie showed Cage developing care and concern for the members of J Squad. He tries to save their lives on multiple occasions and when push comes to shove, he’s able to prove that he knows them, earns their trust, and convinces them to follow him and Vrataski into an unknown mission with certain death at the end.

I think there are a lot of places where this movie brings up a lot of really potent philosophical questions. If you had to live the same day over and over and over again, and watch people who you cared about die thousands of times, what would that do to your ability to care? Would you care more? Would you eventually give up in hopelessness? How would you react to knowing that you would have to die every day? Would you eventually stop trying to save someone you love in order to save the world? Where is the line between choosing to sacrifice yourself to save someone you love and choosing to sacrifice both of you to save the world?

Overall, I did actually enjoy the movie and would rate it as a solid three on my rating scale. I’m quite glad I own it and I watched all of the special features after I finished watching the movie and I will likely watch this movie again in the future.

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Movie Review: How to Train Your Dragon 2

I actually went and saw this in the theater when it first came out. I was so excited to see How to Train Your Dragon 2. I enjoyed the first one so very, very much. It was such a beautiful movie and a wonderful story about friendship and being who you are. And even the soundtrack was fantastic. So my expectations for How to Train Your Dragon 2 were understandably high. If you haven’t seen the movie and you don’t want massive plot spoilers, you should probably stop reading this review.

The opening scenes with the flight around Berk and the unbelievably beautiful animation took my breath away. When Hiccup and Toothless went for their solo flights, it was one of those things I wished beyond everything else that I could experience. Free flight with my best friend? I can’t imagine a more powerful and amazing series of emotional events.

And then when Hiccup and Toothless are messing around with each other on the cliff and Astrid lands and starts mocking Hiccup, I laughed. That’s exactly what a strong, healthy relationship is like. It’s being supportive and it’s being able to laugh at and with each other. I miss that in my life right now – having someone to laugh with and at me. That’s probably one of the reasons that this movie was kind of hard for me at some points. I spend a lot of time laughing at myself these days because someone else used to laugh at me and with me.

When Astrid was talking about Hiccup being Chieftain and what a great honor it would be, and she talks about all the sacrifices he’s going to have to make, it really struck me that he wouldn’t make a good Chieftain, but that Astrid would. In order to become Chieftain, Hiccup is going to have to give up everything that makes him who he is. I immediately saw that somehow, he was going to wind up being the Chieftain and that just seemed so unfair.

I thought Ruffnut’s romantic pursuit of Eret was hilarious. What a complete role-reversal! She spends the first part of the movie being disgusted by Snotlout and Fishlegs and their romantic pursuit of her and then she sees Eret and the tables are suddenly turned. I thought it was a fantastic way to add both humor and the concept that women can find men sexy and attractive. This is going to sound kind of shallow, but it was very amusing to me to see a guy, even if it’s just an animated one, being objectified.

I also enjoyed Eret’s story arch. He started out as a dragon trapper, just trying to do his job, but eventually was shown another way, a way of kindness. He changed because it was the right thing to do and that was really motivational to me.

I did very much enjoy the first meetings of Stoick and Valka. She was expecting him to yell and shout and scream at her for not being there, but the only thing he’s thinking and the only thing he tells her is that she’s as beautiful now as the day he lost her. This, again, is a clear demonstration to me of what love is supposed to be like. When you have someone who you love that much, the transgressions of the past are meaningless compared to seeing them alive and healthy and whole. When you care about someone, when you truly love someone, you love them for everything they are, everything they’ve been, and everything they ever will be – their strengths, their flaws, their mistakes, their beauty – everything that makes them who they are.

While I was extremely happy with the storyline of Hiccup’s mother, I was a little disappointed that she’d been fighting against Drago for twenty years and she lasts all of five seconds when actually pitted against him. Granted, most of her tactics probably revolved around hit-and-run operations and she probably didn’t actually learn hand-to-hand combat. It just seemed as though the dragons who were her friends gave up their freedom so easily to the Alpha.

Stoick’s funeral was greatly moving. He was brave and a good Viking and he died saving his son and his family, and his family includes the dragons. He died a true hero, and that speaks to me strongly. As usual, the soundtrack here did a great job of adding to the plot and the story, as also of providing that extra emotional kick.

The bits of humor scattered throughout the movie were clever enough and so well-placed that I found myself laughing out loud periodically. I definitely laughed when the young dragon riders of Berk were forced to travel via baby dragon and how Hiccup said that the very young don’t do what they’re told. This amused me greatly, because I still don’t do what I’m told, and I’m not very young anymore 🙂

My only real disappointment with this movie was that Hiccup wound up being made Chieftain at the end. It’s not that he didn’t deserve it, it’s just that he didn’t want it. I don’t understand why Astrid couldn’t have been made Chieftain and Hiccup Lord of the Dragons or something like that, to best combine each of their strengths into a stronger whole.

Overall, I’d have to rate the movie as a high three. I really wanted it to be a four, but even watching it a second time, I’m still disappointed that Hiccup ended up in a position that he didn’t really want. I am very glad I own it and I know that I will watch it repeatedly.

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Book Review: Grave’s End by Elaine Mercado

The next book for my Readings in the Genre: the Haunted course for my Master of Fine Arts degree in Writing Popular Fiction from Seton Hill University is Grave’s End: a True Ghost Story (Horror 174 pages) by Elaine Mercado.

Oddly, out of all of the books I’ve read and movies I’ve watched for this course, this story seemed the least believable to me, even though I’m fairly certain this is actually the one genuinely true story presented in this class. I think the part that made it the least believable to me was the little balls of light. I was absolutely on board with the sleep paralysis and how terrifying that could be, but I’ve only recently come in contact with people who have had serious problems with sleep paralysis. Listening to them describe it encouraged me to do a lot of research about it and it sounds like something that’s terribly frightening to experience. If I had not started researching sleep paralysis on my own, I don’t know how believable I would have found that portion to be, either.

It’s interesting to me sometimes how we have to experience something ourselves before we can believe that things happen. I think I’m getting a lot better these days about believing the truth of other people’s perceptions, and maybe even of trusting my own experiences a bit more. Maybe that’s because I’m getting older and I’ve met so many different people in my life. Maybe it’s because I’ve started writing again and opening my imagination. Maybe it’s because someone out there took the time to teach me that the world is not clear-cut. Maybe it’s because I’ve become a very accepting person of the world around me and that I’ve finally fully understood that there is a lot that happens in the world that I don’t know about or that doesn’t make sense to me and I don’t need it to. I will have faith and believe in those around me, whether their lives and experiences make sense to me or not.

I guess that’s part of the reason this book took me so long to read. Now that I’m to a place in my life where I’m more open, there were a lot of instances in this story that built tension so well that I was uncomfortable reading this book at night before bed. Which is rather unfortunate, because that’s the only time I’ve had to read this book. The author would just build and build and build the tension with the sleep paralysis more than any other paranormal instances in the story, and I think that’s easily the most terrifying part of the whole story. Not being able to move while something heavy prevents you from breathing and pushes you into your mattress seems like such a horrible experience and it was described in such detail that I almost felt as though I could experience it myself.

Here’s an example of the sleep paralysis from page 26: “I would fully awaken, already in a paralyzed state, frightened beyond all reason. Fully awake, fully conscious. There was no fuzziness in my thinking, no debate about whether or not I was dreaming. I was not dreaming. I would try to move, but to no avail. I couldn’t turn. I could barely breathe. I couldn’t speak. There was a pressure on my chest – an all-encompassing, revolting pressure – that would eventually spread over my whole body. It would press me into the bed to the point that I could feel, and see, the mattress indenting. I was terrified and confused.”

From what I’ve been told, this is exactly how sleep paralysis feels and I can’t imagine having to deal with that for as long as Elaine, Karin, and Christine did. I think I have actually witnessed someone experience sleep paralysis before, but not of the variety where they were being pushed into the mattress. They just couldn’t move. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was told afterwards.

I don’t really want to say anything about liking the characters in this novel because I don’t feel as though they are characters, but rather real people (which they are). I was very motivated by how Karin and Christine dealt with living in a haunted house and I think that they developed a very healthy understanding of the world because of their experiences. I think that Elaine’s reaction is closer to what most people would or will do in situations where they can’t quite understand what’s going on – they keep their experiences to themselves and they attempt to find other, more rational, explanations for anything they might experience. And really, how *does* one go about finding a reputable paranormal investigator or house cleaner?

Something I really didn’t like about the book was the book itself. It was such an awkward size that I couldn’t hold the book open with one hand and it never sat flat if I was trying to read it while eating or taking notes. Just minor things that annoyed me enough to be notable. So when it’s time for me to finally get published and if I have any say in formatting whatsoever, this is a formatting style that I will speak out against.

Overall, I actually enjoyed this book, as much as I had problems reading it. I thought it was a good, realistic look at ghost stories and hauntings. I’d rate this book as a solid three on my scale and I think it’s my second favorite book from this course so far.

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Character Flaw of the Day: My Heart is a Total Loser

For those of you who have never met me in person, I am a very kind, generous, thoughtful, caring, and big-hearted person. I am also mostly incapable of disguising my emotions at any given time, which makes my life a little more complicated than I’d like because I feel things very strongly and it’s very obvious to everyone what I’m feeling.

My heart’s been through a lot this last year. I never knew things could hurt this much.

But I also never really knew what love is until the events of this past year. If all that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be where I am right now.

I see the beauty in all the small things around me. I ride my motorcycle through gentle showers of orange and golden leaves. I witness the sunrises and sunsets with incomparable pinks and purples. I feel the warmth spread through my hands as I hold my ginormous cup of hot tea, inhaling the sweet scent of pomegranate. I stroll through the forest, the breeze gently stirring the leaves as the birds chirp their songs. I listen to taps every night before bed and think of all those who have gone before.

I spent so many days, nights, even weeks crying on the floor or in the corner. Things hurt so very, very much. Through the tears and all the pain, I kept asking why. I begged for another chance, that if there was some higher power listening to let me fix things because I knew I could if I would just be given the chance to try. There were two times when I was granted the exact situation which I requested and they both backfired and blew up in my face.

I learned to stop asking for things.

Instead, I learned how to shut of my lying brain and listen to what my heart wanted me to say. Every time I wanted to ask why or ask for another chance to say what I feel, instead I said “Thank You.”

Thank you for going with me to the hospital.

Thank you for going camping with me.

Thank you for teaching me so much about life.

Thank you for being there for me when I felt so alone and broken.

Thank you for believing in me when no one else did, not even me.

Thank you for laughing at me.

Thank you for sharing books and movies and music with me.

Thank you for giving me eyes to see such beauty.

Thank you for being you and for allowing me to be even a small part of your life.

I spread my gratitude and my thanks to all those who come near me. I try and help as best as I can, where and when I can. Things got a lot better. While the pain in my heart never went away, I’ve gotten more used to it. Just like I will always have cybernetic parts in me, I know that this pain is now part of me. But it will not run my life.

Next week at work, I need some stuff that I loaned out to someone who was a very good friend. I figured, no big deal, it’s work, and I need that stuff back.

I sent a text and basically said, “Hey, this is me. Do you have this thing?”

The basic response I received said, “No,” but used more words than that.

I replied, “Okay. Thanks for checking. If you randomly find it buried at some point in your stuff, it’d be nice to get back.”

But what my heart really wanted to say was something more along the lines of, “I don’t know why I sound like a total bitch. I miss you. Want to see a movie or get tea or frozen yogurt or something?”

Even this hugely tiny discussion about something work-related was enough to make my heart ache more because I miss you and you’re not here.

I will always miss you and care about you.

But at the same time, I have to respect other people’s wishes. I was told, as I am always told or shown, that I am too intense and too focused; that things are better and happier without me. And that if I am truly respectful of those I care about, that I will respect their desires and what they believe is best for their life. As I will always give of myself before taking from others, I will walk away because that’s what’s best for you. I don’t really believe that’s what’s best for me, but I am resilient and a fairly decent human being. I’ll be okay. I always am.

And I will be thankful for everyone and everything that I do have in my life.

I will experience life to the fullest extent possible.

I will live and I will teach.

I will be a positive impact to those around me and to random strangers I meet along my journey.

And I will always love and miss you.

Thank you for sharing at least a tiny portion of your life with me.

Thank you for being you.

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Book Review: Freedom’s Challenge by Anne McCaffrey

I actually finished Freedom’s Challenge (Science Fiction 303 pages) by Anne McCaffrey several days ago but I haven’t had time to write up my review until today.

The more I read of this series, the more I really am reminded of the television series Falling Skies. Both deal with an alien invasion of Earth that destroys everything we know and takes away our freedom. Both have multiple alien races fighting over Earth’s resources while the humans find ways to sabotage operations and make life miserable for those who would be our supreme overlords. I might have mentioned this in my review of Freedom’s Choice, but the Freedom novels and Falling Skies both clearly demonstrate that attempting to subjugate the human race is a very bad idea.

As a species, we are belligerent, resourceful, intelligent, creative, and we really don’t deal well with people who are not like us who attempt to tell us what to do. We even have that exact problem between ourselves on our own world. Add in a giant, alien threat that we can all agree is an enemy of humankind and you’re just asking for us to mess up your lives.

There was one part of the book that really made me laugh, but I think it was supposed to. It appears as though Anne McCaffrey actually quoted herself in this book because this passage shows up on page 105: “‘Beautiful layout and even the important buildings weren’t squared-off in plate glass but …” he mimicked a commercial voice-over, “‘ecologically situated so as not to mar the natural beauty and making good use of flora and fauna.’ Nothing higher than one story.”‘ While I can’t locate the exact section of the book, Killashandra had a planet named Optheria where the inhabitants of the planet worked extra hard to not disturb or change anything about the natural environment. Maybe at some point soon, I’ll reread the Crystal Singer trilogy and see if I can find that particular passage, because it sounds almost exactly like what I remember from that book.

I continue to enjoy this series very much, with the small exception of some of the minor points. I’m not sure if those minor points are annoying to me because of where I’m at in my life or if there really is something annoying about them. I’m going to start giving away some spoilers from this book starting here, so if you haven’t read the book and you want to be surprised by the events that unfold, you should probably stop reading now. The biggest annoyance for me with this book and Freedom’s Choice is that Kris, the main character, has sex exactly twice with exactly two different human males and she gets pregnant from both encounters. I’ve thought about this in a couple of different ways, one of which is that the survival mechanism of the human body and the species imperative that often goes with it, or even the biology of Botany, would make women more fertile. It just seems weird to me that Kris gets immediately pregnant from two encounters. Granted, she’s extremely sexually active with Zainal and they appear to have a very solid partnership, but they are biologically incompatible.

I do like how the series has a variety of different species and different types of people. The characters are all very well-developed and very different from each other. The aliens are different from the humans and even the humans are different. Every person is treated as an individual and I enjoy that quite a bit.

I know I had a lot more thoughts when I actually finished reading Freedom’s Challenge, but this week has been so exhausting that I don’t remember those thoughts anymore. Hopefully, I’ll get a chance this coming week to finish the series and write my over-arching review afterwards.

Overall, I continue to enjoy the depth and vision of this series and Freedom’s Challenge is a good addition to the Freedom novels. I would rate this book as a solid three on my rating scale and I’m glad I own it and am likely to reread it at some point in the future.

 

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Thankful Beauty

It does not matter to me if I see you every day or I see you once a year or I see you once a decade, I will always be happy and thankful to have you in my life. It does not matter to me if I am the villain or the hero in your life, I will love you and be thankful for you regardless of my role in your world. I hope that wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, whoever you’re with that you share love, joy, and wonder in your life. See the beauty in all the small things. Feel the sun, the rain, or the wind on your face as you close your eyes and spin through the forest, on the mountaintop, or along the beach. If you have someone in your life, tell them or show them you love them and be thankful for them. No matter what your role is in my life, know that I think of you and am thankful for you. Know that you have a made a difference, sometimes large, sometimes small, in my life and that I would not be who I am without you. Know that I would miss you if you were gone. Thank you for allowing me to share the beauty of my days with you 🙂

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