asynca:

yourphysicsiskarkatrocious:

aplpaca:

kinda funny when english teachers say stuff like “i can tell if you didnt read the book” or “i can tell when people bs their paper”

no you cant.  you can tell when people are bad at bs-ing their paper.  i didnt even read the sparknotes and i barely skimmed the wikipedia and you gave me an A.  you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies

“YOU KNEEL BEFORE MY THRONE UNAWARE THAT IT WAS BORN OF LIES” IS ONE OF THE GREATEST SENTENCES I’VE EVER READ AND I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT’S ON A POST ABOUT BULLSHITTING ON ASSIGNMENTS.

Here’s a secret as an ex-English teacher. If I can tell your critical thinking skills are up to scratch and you wrote a good assignment you’ll get an A. Why? 

1. Your mother/father/guardian is a total monster and I don’t get paid enough to fight with them about why you should get less than an A.

2. Your essay well well-written and entertaining despite being full of shit. It deserved an A just for breaking up the monotony of grading 60 identical essays.

3. I really dislike you as a person but I don’t want the faculty to find out.

4. Eh. I dunno. It just had an ‘A’ vibe. 

5. I didn’t read the text either. I don’t understand why we’re required to study 100-year-old white male heterosexual authors when there’s plenty of fantastic modern fiction that actually deals with things that are relatable to the students, written in language that doesn’t put them to sleep. I don’t teach Suffering 101, so why are we studying this? My protest to the faculty is giving everyone As.

6. I didn’t even read your essay but I know you’re smart and you need encouragement. 

7. Look. At this point I’m just happy you can read, even if it’s wikipedia. 

8. I don’t care. You don’t care. No one cares. Have an A.