Humans are weird.

Has anyone ever thought about how STRANGE it is that not only do we keep genetically modified apex predators in our homes and packbond with them, but make a point to irritate the SHIT out of them sometimes?

Example: My Karelian Bear Dog (a species ENGINEERED to intimidate and take down a predator four to ten times their size) HATES, absolutely HATES having her ears blown on. It drives her nuts. So what does my entire family do on a regular basis? We blow raspberries at her ( a strange phrase if ever there was) and blow in her ears. This dog snaps her teeth, and growls, and paws at us like shes going to scratch when she gets irritated, and normally that would be a pretty big “FUCK OFF, I’LL KILL YOU” signal, right?

After all, this is a predator that is meant to kill and maim things TEN TIMES HER SIZE. But no.

We get closer. We stick our faces RIGHT next to hers and play a game. I’ll get right up in her face and gasp, and hold my breath there. I’ll WAIT for her to get impatient and start snorting because “I know it’s coming, you dickbag, bring it on!” And then I’ll blow a giant raspberry at her nose.

She snaps her teeth, and playbites my hand, and whuffles and whines because “FUCK! I hate that, human-packmate!” She rubs her nose with her paws and I laugh. Because it’s cute as shit and funny.

Anyway, not only do humans packbond with dangerous things, we make a point to irritate them because it’s FUNNY.

About C.A. Jacobs

Just another crazy person, masquerading as a writer.
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