You wake up with two small lumps on your back, just around your shoulder blades. Your friend has a similar dilemma, however, theirs are on their forehead, and look like zits. Small horns protrude from theirs, while feathers come from yours.

Within a month, you have large, white, dove wings, while your friend has long, curly horns. Turns out, you’re an angel, they’re a demon, and you’re supposed to fight. But you both’d rather just go see a movie.

“We just, like, really bonded over growing mysterious additional appendages,” the angel tries to explain to the Heavenly Agent that comes to ask why they are not in the process of thwarting their enemy. “And, like, she’s not really doing anything evil? Besides, you know,” the angel continues, almost under her breath, “being hella cute.”

“What,” the Agent says. “What was that last part?”

“Nothing,” says the angel unconvincingly. She squints up at the sky and then back to the Agent. “Must have been the wind.”

The Agent wishes that they’d just use heaven-born angels, like in the old days. These earthly messengers are…tedious.

The new angel looks at the Agent guiltlessly and stubbornly doesn’t think about how cute her friend’s butt is in case they can read minds.

Judging by the look one the agent’s face, they can.


“Why aren’t you out there tempting humans?” The Demonic Agent demands of the newly minted demon. They feel their rage growing hotter as they watch her spin again in her desk chair.

“Don’t want to tempt humans,” the demon says. She appear to have been using her new horns as receipt spikes. There’s one for fro-yo for two.

“Then attack your nemesis,” the Demonic Agent tries.

The demon gives them a very dry look. “Go fuck yourself.”

The Demonic Agent wants to cry. “You’ve been given awesome powers, respect, a title, and the duty to do what you ALREADY do– fuck with people. Why. Aren’t. You.”

The demon makes another slow rotation. “Got stuff to think about.”

“What. Stuff?” Asks the Demonic Agent through gritted teeth.

“Nunya,” the demon says.


“Nunya fuckin business is what,” the demon says. “Now get outta here, I gotta seduce this chick.”

The demonic Agent feels his hopes rose. “You’re going to tempt a human?”

“I’m thinking more along the lines of a long-term committed relationship with an angel,” the demon says, grinning a sharp grin.

The Demonic Agent buries their face in their hands and wishes demons were less obstinate creatures.

I’m in fucking love ❤️

Give me more!

where can I buy more?

Thanks for doing this prompt @caffeinewitchcraft!

About C.A. Jacobs

Just another crazy person, masquerading as a writer.
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