I just left my husband alone with our two children for sixteen days. I was not worried about anything regarding the house, their food, or their wellbeing. I put all the appointments in the family calendar and my husband checked it and kept them. I literally did not worry about them. I missed them, and I was sad that they missed me, but I didn’t worry about them AT ALL. I need to impress upon you all that I missed their company, but was not worried for their welfare.

I also did no meal prep. I don’t even think I went shopping right before I left.

This is not about apples and oranges. This isn’t even about my husband. This is about the fact that this is apparently WEIRD.

Another mum at my daughter’s school is leaving for ten days. She’s taking her youngest (who is a very small baby) and leaving her husband with their two girls. She has been cooking for days preparing freezer meals. She’s panicking and deputizing her six year old to remind him how to make school lunches. AND I AM APPALLED.

A) He is definitely not helpless. (He’s a doctor or something.) What gendered bullshit. B) THAT LITTLE GIRL IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER AND HER SISTER’S WELLBEING. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. C) Why is she married to this person and creating children with him if he’s this big of an idiot?

While she was laughingly recounting this, the other mums were nodding and smiling sympathetically, like oh yes, I too have my caveman at home!! Such managing required! I was the only one who was like “Dude, he’ll be fine. Literally. He will be fine.” I said it a lot. She was not convinced. She kept bringing up her older daughter. She’ll be like a little mum!




Straight women, don’t do this shit. It’s gross. Don’t infantilize your husbands and then expect your daughters to pick up the slack. So fucking gross. So. So. GROSS.

The fact that so many adults think a six year old girl is more capable of learning and performing basic domestic tasks than a grown-ass man says it all, really. 

You should never have children with someone you cannot comfortably, and without a second thought, leave in charge of your kids. People are wild.


You should also not be with someone you cannot trust with any autonomy. And vice versa. If your partner does not trust you to function as an adult, you should not be with them.

there are things Rachel does better than I do. There are things I do better than her. Bottom line, however, We are a team. But I have no doubt she can handle everything if given the opportunity or requirement. and I could probably do everything she does if it came down to it. 

What drives me most nuts about this view (whether it’s from the wife or just societal view of dads and husbands as idiots) is when I have a day off work and school and I take the kids to the park, or to the store, or to Cabelas or where ever, and everyone says “oh, you babysitting?” “you have the kids today?” “wife left you with the kids, huh?”
fuck off. I’m their dad. They’re my kids. Just because their mom isn’t right by my side to “take care of” the kids or some shit, doesn’t mean I’m not excited as hell to finally have a day off to be able to be with them all day. Good dads don’t babysit their own kids. 

About C.A. Jacobs

Just another crazy person, masquerading as a writer.
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